Dude, don’t kill my dream …

Have you ever had someone try to kill your dream? I have. One of my dreams is to be a bluegrass singer/songwriter.

Last year, I was at an intimate concert for my friend Kevin Montgomery, a country musician who was on his 50 States in 50 Days charity tour. The concert was hosted by a couple whom I never met, in their home — a “house concert.” There were about a dozen people in attendance.

I had asked the man if they ever host house concerts for other types of musicians, like bluegrass bands (me!).

“We’d never be able to get enough people interested in a bluegrass concert to host a show,” he said. (Please understand there are 9.6 million people in my metropolitan area.)

“There are lots of bluegrass fans in Chicago. Look at the Old Town School … they host an entire month of just bluegrass band concerts,” I said. “

“You’ll never make it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Dude, don’t kill my dream,” I said and walked away to greet my friend Kevin.

Fast forward 8 months. Last week I went to a concert at one of Chicago’s favorite venues, The Vic Theater. This old, dilapidated theater has hosted everyone from David Bowie to The Cure and Wilco, a hometown favorite.

I went there to see Gillian Welch, a bluegrass singer/songwriter. And guess what? The concert was completely sold out … around 1,400 people bought tickets.

So much for Mr. Dream Killer’s theory. Another bluegrass musician, Alison Krauss, will fill the Chicago Theater (twice the size) in early September.

Has anyone ever done that to you? Tried to kill your dream?

Just as important, have you ever done that to someone else, who shared their dream with you?

This man was projecting his disappointment about his life onto me, or perhaps his fears. He even might have thought he was helping me, by steering me away from what he perceived as a future disappointment.

While I was initially put off by his comment, it didn’t really bother me. I had already lived one of my dreams, and it was the easiest thing I had ever done. (The hard part wasn’t launching my dream, but getting past my fear so I could get started.)

I wondered if at some point in his life, someone had killed his dream. Who was it? A parent? A teacher? His wife? I wondered if he had ever experienced the Having state. I doubted it. I hope someday he does. Because it’s when you experience even a glimpse of this that you finally understand the nature of life … that your dream is divinely designed to be EASY.

What do you do when someone wants to kill your dream?

Especially when it took a lot just for you to make yourself vulnerable enough to share it with them?
You expect them to jump up and down when you tell them you have a dream and intend to make it come true, unable to contain their excitement.

Instead, they look at you with pity in their eyes, or laugh at you, or sabotage you every chance they get.

I once had a client who made her dream come true (I’m talking a big, big dream). She called her mother, so excited to share the news.

Her announcement was greeted with a pause, then, “So, are you coming over for dinner on Sunday?”

Believe it or not, this is a fairly typical response. And when it happens, you realize your loved one never actually believed you would make it.

There are two things you must do to avoid receiving this kind of “support” in your life:

1) Be very choosy about who you share your dream with. I mean really, really picky.

2) Choose a support person you can rely on. This is part of your Dream Success Plan. This person should be a friend who organically believes in your every dream, or a coach or mentor. Share your dream with them, and outline exactly what you need from them as you embark on making your dream a reality. Ask them to agree to support you. Put it in writing if you want … whatever you need to allow yourself to feel supported.

3) If you want other people to believe in your dream, you have to believe in others’ dreams, too! Be very careful about how you respond when someone shares their dreams with you. Notice how you react. Do you want to protect them by lowering their expectations? Or do you believe anything is possible? Do you roll your eyes? Believe in others and you’ll attract people into your life who believe in YOU.

Your Dreaming Big! Creating Reality Assignment This Week:

In the next 24 hours, ask yourself, “How well do I support others in their dreams?” Get honest with yourself. Do you need to improve this at all? If so, start right now!

Then, begin forming your Dream Success Plan by inviting someone you REALLY trust to be your Dream Support Person. If you don’t have a friend who can fill this role for you, begin to explore coaches you could work with when the time is right.

Want help shifting to an EASY place on the inside and making your dream a reality? I recommend the My Life, My Dream, My Turn Home Study program. You’ll complete your Dream Success Plan, make your internal shift to the EASY place and release your limits. To learn more, visit

http://www.mylifemydreammyturn.com.

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Beth A. Grant is a spiritual mentor and personal coach who specializes in helping people let go of the struggle. Clients learn how to integrate day-to-day the power of now and universal laws to achieve ease of life, deep happiness and effortless attraction of what they desire. More info: www.yourquantumsuccesscoach.com. To schedule media interviews email:

beth (at) yourquantumsuccesscoach.com.

© 2011 Elizabeth Grant. All Rights Reserved.